*rides into battle on a gym class butt scooter*
*runs over fingers* ffu fuKFUCK ABORT MISSIOn A BOR T FUCLKGJI N mISSION GODDAMMIT
this is my favorite tweet of 2014
"Why do you want this job?"
Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.
Dearly bruhloved we are swaggered here today to join these two bros in holy matrihomie.
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME OF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
FUCKING TRY I DARE YOU
ITS IMPOSSIBLE AND ITS REALLY FUCKING WITH MY MIND SOMEONE HUG ME
I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER
H E L P
Holy shit whispering is the same volume as shouting as loud as I can
what have you done
We think in concepts
Concepts have no volume
Because a thought is the loudest silence of all.
whoa there socrates
and a nervous breakdown in aisle 11