apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.


4thofjulys:

either that was a firework or another tribute is dead 


monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck


skimcheese:

caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas:

madeagoestohell:

unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person 

image

I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER


lolinondodatt:

obeyaqsaa:

i couldnt scroll past this i had to reblog

I really tried to scroll past it


masserror:

theatrefetish:

thegirlwithkittyears:

thegirlwithkittyears:

people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with

jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying

7:00 P.M.

AS IN THE FUCKING TIME

I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused

"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”


andrewhussiesbosom:

andrewhussiesbosom:

DONT CHA WISH YER GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME

image

DONT CHA


your fav childhood memory?
Anonymous

ageekyfemmeforeveringlasses:

Not paying bills



mad-munch:

if i were a bird

mad-munch:

if i were a bird